Category Archives: Writing Life

On Creativity

  By Candice | June 3, 2013 - 9:31 pm | ,
2 Comments

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Breathing out Birds by Roni Amin

 

I’ve been fighting with my muse lately.

 

It’s not that he/she/it hasn’t been talking to me, which is usually my problem.  I think I’ve mentioned before that I actually want to write lately, which has been a feeling that’s been hard to come by lately.  No, lately my problem has been to find the energy.

 

And the self-confidence.

 

The first is a lot easier to control: it means getting enough sleep and eating right and exercising, and making sure that I’m being nice to myself.  I’m still recovering from a very difficult time in my life and, if anything, have a bad habit of over-extending myself, especially on days when I feel well (like yesterday, where I helped my fiance clean his old room at his parents’ house – he was still storing stuff there – and then went shopping for house stuff, food, and new fish for the aquarium, and then went to a NaNoWriMo monthly meet).  That leads to days like Friday and Saturday, where I basically lay on the couch watching TV all day.  Neither of these days are particularly conducive to being productive in a writing sense, but there you have it…

 

No, that part is easy.  The self-confidence thing is a heck of a lot harder.  For example, this week, my wonderful, amazing fiance posted to social media that he had nine (NINE!) novel ideas lying in wait for when he only had the time. A lot of my writing friends claim to have the same problem – more ideas than time.  I have the opposite.  It’s rare for me to have a novel idea pop into my head.  I find that I really have to work at it to make them show up, which makes me worry that they might actually be not all that good.  Because it seems to be so easy for everyone else…

 

So I had a crisis of confidence this week, because I’m clearly doing this writing thing wrong if I don’t have nine or ten more ideas than I could ever write (which is funny, in retrospect, since all I’ve been able to think about has been the sequels to the book I’m currently writing, and how awesome the series is).  And it sucked, because I had finally, after nearly two years of forcing myself, felt like I was starting to re-discover the passion I had for writing.  And spending hours trapped in the conviction that I was absolutely no good at it was frustrating and maybe a little damaging.  Fortunately, I have a partner who’s well used to my confidence issues and knew all the right things to say to make me feel better.  Sometimes it’s hard to feel good about yourself when you’re trapped in negativity. I’m glad I have him around to be positive on occasion.

 

So I’m being nice to myself this week.  I’m not pushing the writing (there will be time enough for that in July).  Instead, I’m catching up on sleep and trying to feel better physically (because the last few months have been bad for that).  I’m also trying to focus on positive thoughts and reminding myself that I’m not doing anything wrong, I just need to learn how to look at everyday situations in a different light.  Of course, I think that requires me to be a little less exhausted…

 

How do you react when you realize you’re doing something “wrong”?

Plodding Along

  By Candice | May 28, 2013 - 9:10 pm | ,
2 Comments

I’ve been tired this week.

 

Which might have something to do with the ten hour days I’ve been pulling at the day job.  But I get a break tomorrow in the form of a communications course.  I hope it’s fun and educational, because I have a lot of things that I could otherwise be doing at work.  Or maybe that’s the stress of a long to do with and a short week talking? Especially sinceI actually rather like courses, even non-technical ones.  Always have.  (There’s the nerd in me talking.)

 

But yes, I have been tired this week.  Bone tired/exhausted and unwilling and unable to do anything.  Including writing.  Which kind of sucks, because I feel like I’m finally at the point where I could enjoy writing again, and I can’t physically manage it.  No fun at all.

 

Anyway, that’s a rather long winded way of saying that I haven’t done much this week.  I edited a few chapters of “Fighter One” and squeezed some novel planning in on bus rides home.  I need to do more of the latter, but I’ve been sucked into a new book that happens to match my personal writing style and goals for storytelling rather well.  It’s intriguing.

 

So, because I don’t have much else to write about today, how about a goals update?

 

1: Work on one new, exciting, secret project: this is well underway and I expect to release it into the universe in June.

2: Spend two hours per week planning new writing: try just under 0.4 on average. This will increase, or at least that is the plan.  No real new ideas lately, though.

3: Spent two hours per week drafting new works: 1.2 on average so far.  Not as bad as planning, and probably bumped up by Camp NaNoWriMo.  This will increase, I am sure, as there are two more NaNo sessions to go!

4: Spend three hours per week editing: 1.3 on average.  This needs to go up a lot.

5: Write at least twenty “homework” assignments to practice my craft: 0/20 so far.

6: Write six short stories: 5.5/6 drafted.  I still need to edit them.

7: Read twelve new books: 6/12.  Finally, some progress!

 

So, there you go.  Disappointing progress so far, but I have over half the year left.  Let’s see if I can make the other half any better!  It’ll take a lot of work, but that’s not what worries me.  I’m not scared of the work, just of finding the time in which to do said work!

Phone The Media

  By Candice | May 20, 2013 - 8:46 pm | ,
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I’ve been writing again.

 

Newspaper of New Zealand

 Photo from here

 

Slowly, to be sure, and not terribly effectively, but I’m writing again.

 

I haven’t talked about it much here, but I’ve actually been really struggling to write lately.  I haven’t had the mental and physical energy that I’ve needed to really devote myself to the task.  In part, I think it’s because of the day job, which has some really unusual hours right now, and often gets me home well after 7:00 three days of the week.  After then, by the time I eat and settle in, it’s bedtime.  So those days aren’t writing days.

 

But I’ve also found it hard to settle into a good sleep on those days (only having two hours at home isn’t what I’m used to).  Since the long days are usually Monday and Tuesday, sometimes Wednesday and rarely Thursdays, that means I’m exhausted by the end of the week and I need Thursday/Friday to catch up.  Then comes the weekend, which will be very busy now that it’s summer.

 

I’m probably not struggling with anything that’s terribly unusual to most of my colleagues out there, but I’m finding it difficult right now.  I’m also training for a 5K run at the end of June, trying to lose a little of the weight that I put on over the last few years (the side effect of some medication that I really needed), and attempting, however ineffectively, to spend some time with friends.  Writing time is at a premium these days.

 

Which is par for the course for summer, really.  I should be used to it by now, but this year it seems to be more of a struggle than usual.  All the same, I did a little bit of writing/editing this weekend.  It was mostly planning, since my motivation was stronger for that, and getting back into working again on something that I was motivated to do seemed logical, but at least I did it.  Now I just need to sustain it.  I should be good at this, since squeezing in bits of writing is all I preach during November, but I’m finding it harder to just edit for fifteen minutes like I could if I were writing.  What I’m working on needs a bit of conscious thought and sustained effort.  So I’m just going to have to experiment, I guess!

 

What are your tricks for writing when you don’t have much time?

 

 

 

 

Surprised by my own Skill

  By Candice | May 13, 2013 - 11:11 pm | ,
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I’m having trouble trying to decide where to start this post.  Mostly because I was at work for nearly 12 hours today and doing something resembling work for at least 10 of them (I can call the other two “team building, right?).  I’m tired.  And hungry, even though I just ate.

 

But I’m not here to complain.

 

Not about the long hours, anyway.

 

You see, something unusual happened to me this weekend.  It was a long one for me (my company gives one Friday off a month) and I spent the Friday doing house and grown up things that need to be done when one is a grown up with a house (called insurance company about last year’s hail claim, mowed lawn, took out trash, called doctor, etc.).

 

 

Some of that is unusual.

 

But that’s not what I want to talk about.  Friday night I joined my parents and their dog on a jaunt out to the lake, as it was Mother’s Day. We had a nice visit, hung around in the sun, did some shopping for plants, visited with my cousin, her son, and his puppy, who is only three months and adorably tiny (unlike the baby tiger below – added for visual interest).

 

 

 

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I even read a book or two.

 

 

Okay, so it was a newer Clive Cussler that my dad left on his bedside table.  Nothing fancy or terribly thought provoking, but it was a fun read for a few hours.  Brain candy is sometimes healthy, right?  Anyway, there was a scene in it that involved a husband and wife in mortal danger, which reminded me somewhat tangentially of a scene in the possible sequel to “Fighter One” (which I drafted during a NaNoWriMo a few years back).  I was curious if my memory of what I had written was correct, so I re-read the draft.  And ended up also reading the draft of the next in the series after that.

 

 

The strange thing?  I couldn’t put my own books down.  It was kind of like when I read “The Hunger Games” after having watched the movie: I knew how it ended, but I was compelled to keep on reading just to be sure.  And it was enjoyable.  Much more so than reading the first in the series is right now (after I’ve torn it completely apart and put it back together backwards… twice).  I actually really enjoyed reading the books.

 

Now, they aren’t the pinnacle of literary brilliance, I know that.  They’re first drafts, and NaNo drafts at that.  But the potential is what amazed me.  And, more than anything right now, I desperately want to re-write those two books, and finish the series (I know exactly how it will end.  It’s wonderful and poignant and circular and beautiful, and the changes that I’ve made to the first book will only make the last one better).  Which means finishing the first in the series, but I’ve been looking for the motivation to do that for a few months anyway.

 

The big problem?  The darn day job!  I really wished the weekend had been a few days longer so that I could have capitalized on the wave of motivation that I felt.  Since that cannot be, I’ll just have to keep reminding myself of the feeling until I make the time to actually sit down and write again.  Maybe over the (next) long weekend.

 

Have you ever completely surprised yourself with your own talent?

 

 

 

 

 

Why do I do this to myself in the offseason?

  By Candice | April 15, 2013 - 9:08 pm | , ,
2 Comments

So on Saturday, The Office of Letters and Light had their first annual Camp NaNoWriMo marathon.  Eight hours of writerly goodness interspersed with livestreams by NaNoWriMo staff, and I sat through all eight of them, which let me catch up on the writing I was behind by, and was a lot of fun.

 

But woah, was I tired by the end of it!  I don’t usually spend that much time straight working on much of anything (my day job entails a lot of getting up and talking to people) and it was mentally and physically exhausting.  Which is funny, because I’ve done 12 hour write-ins as an ML (which means being peppy and loud and organizing a bunch of people who don’t always want to be organized) and I don’t remember being that tired.  Then again, I deliberately dedicate a lot more energy to things during NaNo time so that could be throwing off my perception.  Maybe it’s just a different kind of tired.

 

It was nice spending time on what I’ve heard referred to as my “heart job” and I really like that phrase as a description of the work I feel called to do.  I can see myself spending long days like that on writing in the future, although I do think I will split the time up between writing and editing.  8,000 words in one day is excessive, even for me, to continue on an ongoing basis (note to any cyborgs who might read this – your mileage may vary).  But it will definitely be few and far between while I still work the day job (unfortunate, but a reality of life, I suppose).

 

On the plus side, said day job is going very well, and despite the 8,000 words I was behind in camp, isn’t sapping as much of my writing energy as the last job did (no, this time it was two colds in a row).  Only time will tell how things go in the future though.  The biggest thing for me is to have a good mentor/supervisor, and I have that at this job for sure.

Setting up the tent…

  By Candice | April 1, 2013 - 8:42 pm | , ,
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Image by Xandra Holazo Marfori

 

Well, it’s the first day of Camp NaNo, and it’s looking like I won’t be getting much done tonight.

Let me rephrase – like I won’t be getting much writing done tonight.

 

You see… I got a lot of actual things done tonight.  I managed a full day at work, despite my head cold (thanks Easter weekend… I needed that), went to the petstore to buy a new heater to replace the defective one that boiled 1/4 of my fish over said long weekend, did some NaNo related chores that I had been putting off, and started this blog post.  Plus my usual housework chores.

 

But now, all that I really want to do is sit and watch TV and try not to die from the sinus pressure.  Or play online games.  Or snuggle my kitties.  Or…

 

Well, pretty much anything else.

Then again, that could be the head cold talking.  I was really enjoying the plotting that I was doing over the weekend (plus a little bit of editing on an old novel) and I’m pretty sure I’ll be raring to go once I can breathe a little better.

Anyone else up for some camp adventures?

 

 

 

 

Writing is…

  By Candice | February 19, 2013 - 3:54 am | ,
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…rewriting is rewriting is rewriting.

 

I have no idea who first said that, although I probably should know.  That’s a familiar cycle, though, that I’ve been stuck in for the last year or so on “Fighter One”.  It’s all for a good cause, of course, as it’s making the story better and better (and better).  But it doesn’t make the actual work any easier.

 

Let me back up.  Over the summer, I spent a significant amount of time reorganizing the novel, making it more streamlined, more believable, and generally less shitty.  It was good work, and I was pleased with it.  I finished the actual edits just before the end of the year, and it sat in a digital drawer, until the beginning of February, when I re-read it.

 

That was an adventure all on it’s own.  For the most part, I actually enjoyed reading the story, and had honestly forgotten parts of it.  Of course, there were parts that I absolutely loved, and some that I loathed.  Most of it was solid, plot wise, but not as strong as I might have liked and there was a definite mushy middle.  But I did manage to “close” the book with the smug sense of satisfaction that I only get after finishing a really good read.  Admittedly, part of that might have been because this particular read was drafted by yours truly, but nonetheless, I thought there was some potential to the novel.

 

There’s also a lot of truly boring parts.  And that’s what I’m trying to fix right now: the incredibly boring parts, especially the mushy middle that needs to be propped up with a tent pole.

 

I have a deadline of the end of the month, so that my fabulous beta reader (also known as my almost-husband) can read it over our vacation.  That’s put me under the gun to fix quite a few things in the next two weeks, and the final result definitely won’t be polished, but I hope it’ll be ready for his plot-related review.  I got 8 chapters edited this weekend (out of 29 total), and some of them definitely needed a lot of work.  I’m confident that, outside of the middle, the rest of the book won’t need quite so much effort, so I might even make my end of the month goal.

 

I wouldn’t be a project manager if I didn’t tell you that I had it all plotted out on a calendar on my wall and I’m crossing each chapter off on a list as I complete them. So I will tell you that.  Only under duress of course.

 

And now, I have a few other things to do before I retire, and tomorrow I have work and then a birthday party, so I think I’ll be off!  Until next week!

2013 Writing Goals

  By Candice | January 10, 2013 - 2:32 am | , ,
1 Comment

Since this worked rather well last year, I’m doing it again!

 

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Image from pixabay

 

As usual, there are a few writerly goals that I would like to accomplish this year.  The writing will probably be limited a little this year due to wedding planning (though 2014 will probably be worse, as we’re thinking that year might contain the big day) so I’ve given some careful thought to what I would like to achieve:

 

1: Work on one new, exciting, secret project.

2: Spend two hours per week planning new writing

3: Spent two hours per week drafting new works

4: Spend three hours per week editing.

5: Write at least twenty “homework” assignments to practice my craft

6: Write six short stories

7: Read twelve new books (I didn’t accomplish this one last year, so it remains)

 

Wish me luck!  We’ll see how it goes with everything else I have to do this year.

2012 Writing Goals Check-in

  By Candice | December 31, 2012 - 12:00 pm | ,
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Well, another year over… Let’s see what I’ve done! 

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Image from Dreamstime

 

1: Write one blog post a week.  Complete!  …mostly.  I skipped two weeks during NaNo, but I think I made up for it in April, so I consider this a success!

2: Draft two novels this year.  Re-write of “Fighter One” and first draft of “Warrior” complete!

3: Dedicate three nights per week to writing (at least a little).  On average, I wrote at least a little on 5 nights out of every week.  Of course, this wasn’t consistent, which will likely be my next goal.

4: Write four short stories this year (one per quarter).  Complete!  Some of them are even good!

5: Spend at least five hours per week plotting out new stories. A major failure here: I only averaged 1.5 hours per week (most of it during Camp NaNo in August, which was dedicated to story plotting).  This seemed to be alright, though it could be higher.  I think I need to focus on editing what I have as well.

6: Write at least six critiques a month.  I wrote every critique that was asked of me!  It wasn’t quite six, but that’s just how life goes!

12: Read 12 new books.  Another major fail here: I only read four (five if you count reading “Water for Elephants” twice).  Something else to work on!

 

Stay tuned to find out what I have planned for next year!  And have a very Happy New Year!

Welcome to the Batcave!

  By Candice | October 29, 2012 - 1:33 pm | ,
1 Comment

… okay, not really.

 

But since NaNoWriMo is on the way, I thought I would take you on a quick tour of my writing lair/office (I prefer lair).  Mark and I have been preparing the house and our lives for November, so I actually spent the last few days tidying it up and making it workable.  I expect I will be spending a lot of time here over the next few weeks.

 

Here we go!

 

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My office!  From the doorway you can see (from left to right) the cat house, my shelves, my cupboard and my desk!

 

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A closer view of the shelves and all the books that I have (not so many as you’d think, and recently pared down) and some of my precious treasures.

 

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My desk, with my bulletin board of writerly motivations.

 

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My crafty zone (with all my knitting) and my sewing machine (mostly used for now as a holder of tea things and, apparently, my lightsabre).  Also, my filing system that needs a better home.

 

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And my cleverly hidden printer and writing books!  The drawers are filled with more craft stuff and other things that still need a home.

 

And that’s my lair!  I hope you like it as much as I do.